I saw this sign on a shop in St. Augustine, FL during spring break. Naturally, I went in. Who wouldn’t? Such confidence!
What does your sign say? Are you open and awesome? I’m willing to bet that you are, but I’m interested by the confidence gap I keep reading about and how some say that it’s preventing women from taking risks, reaching for that stretch job and speaking up enough. So how to build up that confidence level when you may just be returning to work after a career break? Read on for 5 confidence-boosting ideas that you can start practicing today.
5 Confidence-Boosting Ideas For You!
Confidence Booster #1: Transfer Your Confidence
We all have areas of our life where we feel more confident than others. For some, work is their confidence comfort zone. For others running the show at home is where they feel in-charge. So what if we applied the confidence we exhibit at our confidence comfort zone to our less-confident zone? For women returning to work after a career break and struggling to regain their professional self-assurance, I’d like you to apply your confidence in your non-professional pursuits to your job search and your professional life. Here’s how: notice your posture, body language, the volume and tone of your voice when you’re taking care of business in a place where you feel like the boss. The next time you’re heading into a professional event, a networking meeting, or an interview, recall that in-charge feeling. You are the boss.
Why does confidence matter? In “For Women to Rise, We Must Close the Confidence Gap”, author Margie Warrell argues that in the context of job-searching, a less-confident woman won’t apply for certain jobs if she doesn’t feel fully qualified. You’ve probably all heard the statistic from a Hewlett-Packard internal report that men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women will only apply if they meet 100% of the qualifications. Over the many years of a career, the cumulative effect of consistently not reaching for the next job or applying for one you have the potential to do can add up to tremendous missed opportunities, lower salary and fewer promotions.
Confidence Booster #2: Just Act!
The Atlantic Magazine cites perfectionism as “another confidence killer” in “The Confidence Gap” by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. “Study after study confirms that it is largely a female issue, one that extends through women’s entire lives. We don’t answer questions until we are totally sure of the answer, we don’t submit a report until we’ve edited it ad nauseam, and we don’t sign up for that triathlon unless we know we are faster and fitter than is required. We watch our male colleagues take risks, while we hold back until we’re sure we are perfectly ready and perfectly qualified. In order to become more confident, women need to stop thinking so much and just act.”
Margie Warrell had some of my favorite advice on the topic of exhibiting more confidence: “After working with thousands of women across diverse professions and cultural background, I’ve learned that nothing builds confidence in any arena more than stepping right into the middle of it…palms sweating, stomach knotted, beside the guys…despite the chorus of doubts urging you to play it safe in the stands…The only way to build confidence and courage is by acting with it.” This is a modern-day echo of the famous Eleanor Roosevelt advice to “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
Confidence Booster #3: Pay Attention to the Words You Use
Your word choice can be a powerful signal of your confidence level. Be cognizant that you’re presenting ideas in a way that is not apologetic or timid. Don’t fear disagreement – a healthy exchange of differing opinions and ideas can be an amazing way to reach a good outcome. But if you’re afraid to speak up and present your opinion or ideas, this exchange won’t ever happen.
Confidence Booster #4: Visualize Success
A technique often taught to sales professionals that you can use to build your confidence is to visualize a successful outcome. This takes goal-setting an important step farther, as you actually spend a few minutes imaging what success looks like for you in the situation you are faced with. If you’re entering a job interview, visualizing success means imagining yourself getting the call from the hiring manager to welcome you to the team and offer you that job. It’s a pretty powerful technique and one I urge you try the next time you’re faced with a situation that challenges your sense of confidence.
Confidence Booster #5: Remember Your Victories
Ever heard of an “Attagirl File?” It’s a file, either physical or electronic, where you keep confidence-boosting accolades, thank you notes, awards, and anything that you’ve received that points out a job well-done or makes you feel positive about an action you took. I call mine “Wins.” If you don’t have one, start one today and refer to it whenever you need a reminder of how awesome you are. It’s also handy when you go to update your resume or have a performance review.
A few months ago I was invited to lead the discussion on Women Returning to Work at an MBA Women’s Leadership Conference. My first thought was “Who, me?” But then I realized that I live this stuff, read about it constantly, write about it weekly, obsess about it and talk about it with everyone I meet. I’m the expert! Yeah, me.
So when you see a job that you want, roll up your sleeves and apply, find a connection at the company to put in a good word for you and visualize yourself getting the job after wowing them in the interview. Be open and awesome! Yeah, you.
Today’s blog is special because it features Q&A with Beth, Stefani and Kathleen, three successful relaunchers who attended the Back to Business Women’s Conference in 2015 and started new jobs shortly thereafter. Each of these awesome women worked hard at their job searches, learned along the way and achieved results, but they each did things a little differently. Read on to benefit from their wisdom.
What made you decide it was time to return to work?
Stefani: I was working part time with the thought that it would lead to a better position, but it wasn’t going anywhere and I knew I needed more.
How did you get your job?
Stefani: I heard good things about Indeed.com so I focused on that website and that is where I found my current position.
Kathleen: I applied to numerous jobs at UNC and NC State over a 4-month time period. I finally got an offer for a job that would have been good and on the same day got called to interview for a job that was specifically event planning, which is what I wanted. That same day I was attending the Back to Business Women’s Conference and met a UNC HR person there. He suggested emailing the hiring manager something to show her what I would do if I had the job so I emailed her a detailed event plan that she mentioned in the interview and the next day she called me and offered me the job.
What job search tactics were effective for you?
Beth: I found that networking was the most effective. Contact everyone you know and their spouses. Ask for any help you can get. It is amazing how one conversation can spark an idea or a contact that ends up becoming an opportunity. Be bold and don’t be afraid to ask for help – that’s what everyone does. In the end, my best friend’s husband’s recommendation got me my job.
Did you ever feel frustrated during your job search?
Beth: YES! Job boards were a waste of time for me. Target specific companies related to a skill or an industry where you have previous experience. Now that I have been on the other side of it as a recruiter, I see how quickly resumes are passed over, for the smallest thing. But keep trying – you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince! LOL!
Stefani: Absolutely! I quit looking for a while but with encouragement from my spouse and friends I started back searching again. And what really, truly lifted my spirits was attending the Back to Business Women’s Conference! It inspired me when I had been very discouraged.
Kathleen: Very frustrated! I couldn’t get an interview for a while and it felt like it was impossible to speak to a person during the application process. I learned that I needed to be networking.
Was the type of job you went back to different from your previous job? If so, why?
Stefani: I’m back in the field in which I used to work but I changed my strategy to target a less technical position. I realized that I could not walk back into a role like I used to have due to advancements in technology. This new strategy alone truly helped me get more interviews.
Did you do anything to refresh your skills to get the job?
Stefani: I didn’t, but I was considering it. It’s just difficult to justify when a home has one primary income. Kathleen: Yes, I needed to learn a variety of software programs and I am still learning.
What is your best advice to women on a career break right now?
Beth: Do something with your time that can translate to a job later on. I heard a recruiter colleague of mine (who didn’t realize I had a career break myself) criticize a woman who had been out of work. “Could she not have had a part time job? I can’t help her!” Even a volunteer position that develops skills that can be useful in the workforce is important. Show that you had the initiative to keep current and the energy to volunteer or work at something important.
Stefani: Looking back I wish that I had a strategy in place to return to work as soon as I made the decision to put family first for a while. I was really just “a candle in the wind” but I learned that I should have attempted to keep myself involved in my field, in a professional organization or have a more pertinent part-time job. I just became totally involved in organizations and part time work that focused on my children – not career-forward thinking.
What’s your best advice to women returning to work after a career break?
Stefani: If your search is stagnant, attempt a different strategy. Keep an open mind and try different avenues – don’t be afraid to go outside your comfort zone!
Kathleen: Do a lot of research on the field or business you’re interested in, update your business attire to match the environment you would like to work in, make sure your resume is updated in a way that is being used now, create a LinkedIn account, tell people you know you are looking for a job and look confident even if you don’t always feel it.
How did you manage the transition back to work?
Beth: That was really hard at first, but my advice is to give it time – it will get better. I used an online family calendar (Cozi) to keep track of schedules – that really helped. Everyone will adjust – it does take some getting used to though.
Stefani: My mother always wants to help out so I asked her to make a casserole for my first week of work. And she really came through and made me a casserole each week of my first month – it was great! And my kids have chores they are required to do after school before I get home, such as setting the table for dinner.
Kathleen: I planned out everything I could with multiple plans and became more flexible with what “had” to be done and what could wait.
We made it a family affair, everyone does their part.
Do you enjoy being back at work?
Beth: Yes, I do. I love being an adult again, feeling like a professional and being able to support myself and provide for my family. It wasn’t my first choice for this time of life, but my confidence has returned and I love the new person that I am.
Stefani: I’m loving it – it’s like I’ve gotten back to myself and it really has improved my personal self-esteem.
Kathleen: I love my new job and schedule, so glad I did it. I learned so much from the process that I can share with my teens who are looking for a job!